To all of you who read my blog, i hope it doesn't make you uncomfortable if I talk a little bit about my grief. I am finding over the last few months that some days, I am really really happy and some are really hard. Especially as I approach my due date this week. I have felt a little bit like I have been in a really wierd haze this last couple of weeks. I know that this is my life I'm living but sometimes I can't believe it. Although that strong feeling of being uplifted and carried by the Lord has subsided a lot, I still feel what an amazing blessing it is to be Isaac's mother as well as Dallin's and Sydnee's. So, time is marching on and I still miss Isaac. I wonder when that starts getting better?
So, there I was....... coming back in to my neighborhood from pickin Syd up from a friends house. And there was a cop parked at the top of my street. I said to myself, "Please dont see me, Please don't see me, please don't see me." As I got almost to my Mother in laws house, I looked into the mirror and yep, He'd seen me. He was tearing down my neighborhood road like he was after someone on a high speed chase. He had his lights on too, so I pulled over my old minivan right in front of Kathy's house. I got out of the car and he said," maam please get back inside your vehicle." Then he said "do you know why I pulled you over?" I told him I was aware that my registration had expired and that is why we never drive this car. I explained to him that I was on my way to pick up my son so that we could all go to get the windsheild fixed so we could get the car inspected and registered. He must have thought my story was amusing. He had a smurk on his face. He went back to his car while I waved at all my neighbors as they drove or walked by or just watched from their porches. He had no mercy on me for my good intentions. But I have a question, How am I supposed to get my car registered if I cant drive it to get it registered? Go figure. Anyway, I guess I'm a big time criminal!
So, Dallin is still at the hospital. For all of you who have been on pins and needles wondering if he is contagious, none of his tests have come back posative even the herpes. So, I think everything is ok that way. But we still don't know what it is. He might even have to stay another night. He won Hospital Bingo this morning and they said his name on TV and he was really really excited about that! He got a cool game of checkers as a prize. Sydnee and I miss him. It's hard for me to not be at the hospital with him this time, but until my cough goes away, they don't want me to be cooped up in a little room with him. Jeff is a trooper!
Tonight, I'm waxing sentimental. I've actually been reading a book about Emma Smith. Holy Moly! I can't fathom the great spiritual reserve she had. I'm wishing i had a little more right now. How did she do it? She had to have lived with so much fear. But she always always always just trusted in the Lord. That almost sounds like a tright phrase, we hear it so much. Everyone say it with me...Faith, not fear.....Faith, not fear... Maybe I'll feel the vibe and not be so scared.
I just wanted to let everyone know that Dallin is in the hospital. Jeff took him to the ER Monday night at 9:00. We were afraid that the really really bad rashy stuff on his arm might possably be shingles or chicken pox after all. But it turns out, it isn't. He's still there as of right now and might have to stay the night again. They think it might be some kind of herpes virus that attacks weak places on the skin like his warts. They've run a whole bunch of tests and we havn't got any results yet. It scares me because the doctor once mentioned to me that any kind of herpes, including cold sores are a very dangerous thing for him to get. As for Dallin's spirits, when I talked to him last he was watching Monsters Inc. and ordering anything and everything he wanted from the cafeteria including lots and lots of his favorite fruits. He told me he was going to have pancakes for lunch. Yum! He's a little trooper and hopefully he will be back home very soon. By the way, Antimony was really fun! To any of you who are wondering if he was contagious, I am going to find out and let you know.